Aasha Khosa

A casual conversation with my young colleague Ameena Majid a few days before Eid-u-Fitr gave me the idea that social values are not controlled by a few cantankerous TV anchors and leaders who seem to be pushing a divisive narrative for TRPs and their votes respectively.

Like most Muslims, Ameena fasted throughout the month of Ramzan and yet worked in the office as normal. One evening when she was ready to leave, I asked her about her plans for Eid.

Her calm demeanor changed; Excitedly, she told me she had bought three dresses to wear on Eid and two days after it when she was expected to meet and visit friends and extended family and exchange gifts. “I bought somewhat heavy dresses this time,” she told me.

Our other colleague Amna Farooqui also brought three dresses including a frock for Eid. Both of them dropped the idea of wearing farshi salvar, a fashion trend, which was being promoted on social media in the run-up to Eid to regular Indo-Western kameez-pant.

On that evening, Ameena was going to join her five best friends for their annual Iftar party in a park. They cobbled the group six years ago and today all of them are working professionals. Among her friends is Pankaj Sharma, who works with a television channel as a mass media professional.

I was curious to know more about their group. She told me that all her friends would come to Sunder Nursery, the latest picnic spot for Delhiites. She was entrusted with the responsibility of buying food from the Nizamuddin area. As their lone Hindu friend was a pure vegetarian, she had decided to buy fruits, Biryani, paner, dal makhni and dates, and mandatory cold drinks.

They were originally a group of seven from their college days and both the males in the group were non-Muslims. Their friendship dates back to their days as undergrad students of Mass Communication at the Jamia Milia Islamia, Delhi.

Ameena Majid and Amna Farooqi (Sitting, wearing pink dresses) at the office Diwali party

Five of them continue to be in touch and bond regularly especially over birthdays and festivals. Ameena told me that they have visited Jama Masjid, Nizamuddin Dargah, Akshardham Mandir, and Dhanaulti (Uttarakhand) and attended Qawwali sessions at Sufi dargahs and social functions like weddings in each other families.

Do they discuss politics or the Hindu-Muslim narrative? Ameena told me that they don’t discuss anything political and this is organic and not a conscious decision. “Earlier we had a friend in the group who at times made comments about Hindu-Muslim equations and tried to present it as a joke,” she said. However, none of them reacted and the conversation ended before it could start.

She and her friends celebrated Diwali with Pankaj at his house in Faridabad. “His mother made delicious aalo parantha for us. We burst phuljhari on the terrace of his house. It was a lot of fun." The friends were also invited to his brother's wedding.

Pankaj has visited Ameena’s house and her parents know him as one of her best friends.

The next day, I saw a video clip of Ameena celebrating Ramzan Iftaari with her friends on her Instagram page. I didn't try to figure out Pankaj as they looked the same; happy, confident, and contented in life in the pictures.

Ameena told me that five of them always celebrate each others’ birthdays. Recently it was Pankaj’s birthday.

After speaking with Ameena, I felt guilty about having judged the younger generation as being different from us. I too was influenced by the TV debates thinking that Hindus and Muslims of today are unlike us; they live in silos.

Ameena Majid (Right) with Onika Maheshwari (Center) and Mehak Bandey making Rangoli on Diwali in office

At my Hindu-Christian home, we would celebrate Eid with biryani and a sweet dish following an interesting incident. In her primary class, my daughter celebrated Eid at her school by making greeting cards and exchanging them with classmates.

She came home excited and declared she was invited to her classmate Siam Ali's house for Eid celebrations. "We exchanged cards; I can show you what he made for me," she was assertive. We took it as normal child talk but the next day she was mentally ready to visit Siam Ali's house.

We had no clue who he was, and where he lived. Finally, to divert her mind, my husband told her that we too need to celebrate Eid. I did make biryani and a dessert to celebrate Eid and this became a tradition at my place. 

Growing up I didn’t have Muslim friends because there were just a few in my school and college but later I would tie Rakhi to my Ashraf bhai and he too flaunted our bhai-behan status to all and sundry on social occasions. He is no more but our families continue to share love and bond over the phone and social media.

I have a sister called Nusrath who lives in Kashmir. I met her as a journalist seeking to wrote a strory when she was struggling for justice. Today I say it with a lot of pride that she is a celebrity bureaucrat in J&K; mother of three children and wife of a supportive husband. We hold impance in each other's lives and share our joys and sorrows.

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Let this Eid be dedicated to the legacy of friendships and human bonds that Ameena and her friends have preserved and nurtured