Atir Khan

The country gives its people a unique opportunity to recreate a joint family-like environment even in big cities. This distinctive characteristic makes India unique from many Western societies and highlights the exceptional resilience and strength of the Indian culture.

Over the past four decades, the rapid growth of capitalism and urbanization has significantly altered family structures in the country. The economic boom has led to a rapid rise in employment opportunities in urban centers, leading to a shift from traditional joint families to nuclear units.

The nuclear family model, which originated in the Western world and was characterized by a couple and their children living independently, has become a norm in Urban India. However, India offers a unique opportunity to condition the prevalent system.

Nuclear families allow individuals to make decisions and manage their households with freedom. It provides privacy and autonomy. However, its biggest drawback is that it blocks the exposure to elderly wisdom.

The modern city lifestyle, with its advanced infrastructure and conveniences, complements this structure, offering better access to education, healthcare, and career opportunities.

Young girls enjoying freedom in a city (Photo: Ravi Batra)

However, this arrangement also brings challenges, such as social isolation and a lack of extended familial emotional support, otherwise integral to traditional joint families.

Tarbiyat or Sanskars of joint families as we call them are important for the overall growth of individuals; the nuclear family system tends to deprive the children of these values.

Western societies have long embraced the nuclear family model. The emphasis on individualism and material success has often led to a decline in traditional family values, contributing to a sense of social isolation for many individuals. This has led to psychological problems such as depression.

The result is a growing search for spiritual and emotional fulfillment as people seek ways to address their social and psychological needs.

In India, while urbanization and the rise of nuclear families have brought about similar trends.

The cultural legacy of joint families provides a crucial support network. The traditional values of extended family support and community offered emotional, social, and practical benefits.

In joint families, uncles, aunts, and cousins played significant roles in both joyous and challenging times. Their presence fostered a sense of belonging and security, creating an environment where individuals feel supported, safe, and cared for.

In the Indian urban setting too the legacy of rich family values offers a sound social foundation. Today neighborhoods could serve as surrogate family networks, with individuals stepping into roles similar to those of extended family members. For example, a neighborhood uncle or aunt might provide guidance, offer care, or support families in times of need.

A Young father with his child at Jama Masjid, Delhi (Photo: Ravi Batra)

These relationships, though not always bound by blood or shared cultural background, create a supportive community reminiscent of traditional joint families. They mimic the role played by joint family members. They may help look after your home, care for your children, or offer support and advice during difficult times.

This network of support helps fill the void left by the absence of extended family, providing a reliable and stable presence.

Unlike friends, who may relocate or change over time, these neighborhood connections often offer a sense of continuity and stability.

Building and maintaining strong relationships with these individuals can be invaluable. They are just a knock or phone call away in an emergency; they can be relied upon both in the good times like celebrations and festivals, and challenges. The only condition is mutual reciprocation.

To make the most of these neighborhood connections, it is important to actively build and nurture these relationships.

One of the verses from the Old Testament commandments - ‘Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself’ is always relevant. 

Engage with neighbours, participate in community events, and offer support when needed.

Creating a network of trustworthy and caring individuals can help bridge the gap left by the absence of extended family and provide a sense of community and belonging.

By fostering strong relationships with supportive neighbors, city-dwelling nuclear families can benefit from a sense of community and emotional stability similar to that provided by extended family networks.

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Many Indians have already made such strong bonds. Embracing and enhancing these connections is essential for navigating the complexities of modern city life. In the absence of such bonds, there is a tendency to get lost in the gloomy labyrinth of big cities.